Raspberry Happiness

From my fifteenth to seventeenth year I loved to lament. I even loved the word lament (which was the name of a song by the Cure, and the Cure are pretty much the epitome of lamentation). One of my favorite subjects to lament over was girls--with whom I was always having a bit of trouble. I can't blame the girls--many of whom didn't respond when my crush was on or, more likely, never even knew. Those that did respond had the fortune (or misfortune) of dealing with me in such a state.

I would usually attempt some kind of song to handle the difficulty of these circumstances, most of which didn't ever actually become songs (see the poetaster archive to the right). The few that become songs are really quite special to me as artifacts of those emotions and the circumstances that surrounded them.

Raspberry Happiness is one such tune. Written over several drafts (again, see the poetaster file), "Raspberry" (as I believe it appears on the album insert) is about a week long summer romance of sorts that I had with a girl at a summer church conference called EFY (Especially For Youth) in 1994. You may have had one of these summer camp experiences--if you have, you'll know how horrible/wonderful they can be. She was perfect because I didn't really know her. We met, fell head over heals and after five days never saw each other again.*

Of course, I'm being dramatic here--but that was how it felt at the time! Adolescent emotions can be so totally overblown. I ached for weeks afterward. My family went on a trip to northern Utah in the weeks following and the raspberry milkshake shop that we would traditionally go to--that bastion of childhood happiness and comfort--had lost its appeal.

Beyond that, the only other specific thing I remember about the history of the song is the line "you talk of the sky, well it's my blood blue heart." It is in reference to a poem that she wrote in a letter with the line "blood blue sky."

*We actually did see each other again very briefly later that summer, but didn't you like the dramatic effect?

Raspberry Happiness